The two-list exercise
When I first realized I wanted to move into leadership, I met with someone very wise: Don Read. The advice he gave me stuck because it wasn’t complicated.
He asked me: “Do you know what kind of leader you want to be?” When I hesitated, he said, “That’s not true.”
Then he told me to take two pieces of paper. On the first, write down every good thing the best leaders in my career actually did. On the second, write down every bad thing the worst leaders did.
Then he said: do the first list. Don’t do the second.
In one line
Do the first list. Don’t do the second.
Why the list evolves
What has been cool about this idea is my list has changed over time. As I matured in my career, different things appeared. Things were taken off as I understood my environment more.
Leadership isn’t static. If you’re paying attention, your standards evolve. Some things you judge early in your career, you later understand in context. Other behaviors you tolerate early, you later decide you’ll never repeat.
Leadership before the title
When I decided I wanted to become a leader, I also thought about what would carry through no matter what role I had. Things like time management, email management, conflict resolution, and change management.
I didn’t wait until I had a formal leadership position to study those things. I treated them as “always-on” skills.
Interview the real experts
I also added to Don’s idea. When I saw leaders who were good at those skills, I sat down and interviewed them.
What did they do? What were their secrets? Some of what they said I adopted. Some I modified. Other ideas didn’t work for me.
That’s fine. Leadership isn’t copying. It’s choosing what fits your environment and what fits you.
If you’re not growing
After that, I looked for ways to keep learning—because I remembered a simple truth: if a tree wasn’t growing every day, it was dying.
I’ll admit there were points in my career where I didn’t focus on growth and learning. And those were the days I could tell I wasn’t at my best. Because I was dying.
How this insight supports different learners
R Readers
A clear narrative with section breaks and a simple takeaway.
L Listeners
A story you can retell without losing the point.
D Doers
A practical exercise you can use this week.
O Observers
Focuses on behaviors, not labels.